


You've Been Mine from the Start

by rhyaenv



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, Alpha Jensen, Alpha Jensen Ackles, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Father/Son Incest, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Omega Jared, Omega Jared Padalecki, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent/Child Incest, Slow To Update, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:17:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4866179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhyaenv/pseuds/rhyaenv
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a proud father. His only son, Jared, managed to score a full ride to UT Austin before graduating from high school. But during the summer after Jared’s first year at UT, Jensen comes to find out his son has been keeping a big secret from him for years now. A lie that might forever change the relationship Jensen has with his son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is officially my first attempt at writing an ABO AU fic for J2. While I love ABO AU fics, actually writing in the this particular universe is completely new to me, so please be kind. ;v; I'd also like to mention that while this fic is indeed set in the ABO-universe, I won't really talk about, or focus so much on, the dynamics and their details (like knotting and heats and claiming and such) in this fic until later on.
> 
> Nonetheless, I hope you all will enjoy the first chapter of this fic!

When April Evans, a girl Jensen didn't even know, had called him up one early December morning, saying she needed to meet up with Jensen as soon as possible to discuss something important, Jensen had no idea what the unfamiliar girl could've possibly wanted with him. But the hints of panic in her voice had unnerved him, and he’d reluctantly agreed to meet up with her at Huffhines Park the following afternoon.

Part of Jensen had worried, but he was only 17 years old, and this girl had sounded like she was also around his age, and Jensen had no idea who she was so they’d obviously never met before. What could she have possibly wanted to discuss with him?

Jensen figured it was probably something stupid, but for the rest of that day, he hadn’t been able to shake off the worry that gnawed at the back of his mind.

Looking back, Jensen knows nothing could’ve possibly prepared him for what actually happened that Saturday afternoon when he finally met up with April.

April Evans ended up being a thin beta girl only a few inches shorter than him with long, mousy hair, light brown eyes, and olive-colored skin. And as they started talking, Jensen found out that she was 17 too, just a few months older than Jensen really, and that she didn’t even go to the same high school as he did, which puzzled him immensely. Because if they didn’t even attend the same high school, then how did she even know who he was?

Jensen hadn’t needed to ask though, as April moved on and explained that they’d met during Dylan Thompson’s party on Halloween night.

At the mention of the party, the worry that had been gnawing at the back of Jensen’s mind had burst into his consciousness—Jensen vaguely remembered heading over to Dylan’s party with a few of his friends, but he couldn’t actually recall much about what actually happened while he’d been there.

So when April asked him if he remembered what happened back then, Jensen’s throat had suddenly gone dry, he’d swallowed and managed to choke out a faint, “No, not really.”

The look April had give him then had been strange and Jensen hadn’t been able to decipher if before a blank look covered her face as she stated, “Well…we had sex.”

The words had been like a punch to the gut and Jensen had frozen there, his heart racing frantically inside his heavy chest, but it had been her next words that had caused his heart to skip a beat as a wave of panic gripped him, “And I just found out a few days ago that I’m pregnant.”

A thick, awkward silence had immediately followed, one that allowed Jensen to hear his blood pulsing loudly in his ears for a moment, and while Jensen still felt frozen in the spot, everything had begun to seem almost unreal, like it was just a strange nightmare that he had yet to wake up from. It took him a while to realize he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like there was something heavy resting on his chest, something constricting his lungs; his head felt heavy and, distantly, everything around him seemed to feel like it was moving while he was remaining stationery.

Eventually, he picked up that April had been calling his name repeatedly, her voice sounding muffled, as if he were underwater, but when he finally managed to turn and look at her, he could see her looking oddly at him. It was as if she was slightly worried, but also confused and unsure of what to do.

Jensen had tried to force the words “I’m okay, just give me a moment” out, but they sounded distant, dull to his own ears. But April had seemed to hear him and understand because the worry seemed to vanish from her face as she nodded and looked away, in what Jensen thought was to give him some sense of privacy as he prayed for his body to calm the fuck down.

Moments later, when Jensen had felt like he could breathe again, April had continued, saying, “Jensen, look, my parents are furious about the pregnancy, but my parents are super religious, and my mom won’t let me get an abortion, so she wants me to have the baby.” April had paused then, and Jensen found he still didn’t know what to think, his mind remaining insensible, “But I don’t want to raise this baby, so…I’m thinking of putting up the baby for adoption.”

That last word finally seemed to bring Jensen out of whatever stupor had taken hold of his mind only moments before; his response had almost been instantaneous. “Adoption?"

“Yeah,” April looked frustrated, “look, we’re both seniors. I have goals; I’m hoping to get accepted into St. Mary’s so I can study English. I can’t take care of a baby. So yeah, since I have no other alternative, putting the baby up for adoption is what I’m thinking of doing.”

For the life of him, Jensen will never understand what drove him to say what he did next.

“What about me?” The startled yet confused look April had given him drove him to clarify, his heartbeat racing once more, “What if I want to raise the baby?”

April had looked at him as if he’d abruptly start speaking a foreign language, “You— _You_ want to raise the baby?"

Honestly, Jensen had been absolutely terrified at the prospect, and unsure of it all, but the mere idea of _not_ having this baby in his life at all anymore seemed to settle unpleasantly in his chest.

“Yeah, I,” he paused briefly, his next two words more confident, “I do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has left kudos for this fic, and especially everyone who has left a comment! You are all so kind and great, thank you! ♥
> 
> I'd also like to tell you all that while Jensen/Jared is definitely endgame for this fic, it will take me a while to get there. Jared's birth will be coming up in either the next or the fourth chapter, and after that, there might be a few more chapters before we get to when Jared comes back from UT Austin (as stated in the summary) and everything goes down. So please be patient with me, hehe. 
> 
> Here is the second chapter, I hope you all enjoy!

It had come as no surprise to Jensen that informing his parents about April’s pregnancy would upset them. Their shock after hearing that he actually _wanted_ to raise the baby was also expected. Even the mutual anger that radiated from both Alan and Donna Ackles had been expected. But what Jensen hadn’t foreseen at all was his parents kicking him out of the house.

Or his father’s florid face as he yelled, “Get out—no alpha son of mine is going to flush his chance to go to college all because he wants to raise some baby born out of wedlock with a God-damned beta!"

His mother hadn’t spoken, she’d only cried and wouldn’t even look at him.

Jensen wanted to explain, perhaps in some attempt to try and make them understand, but as soon as he’d started speaking, Alan had merely glared at him and raised a hand. And just like that, with such a simple gesture, his father had cut him off, clearly not wanting to hear whatever he might've had to say, and that hurt Jensen more that he would ever admit.

As Jensen had stood there, with a pleading, desolate look written all over his face, his father had proceeded to wrap an arm around his still sobbing mother and had began to guide her away from him.

But a few steps later, just before they disappeared into the kitchen, Alan had turned his head over his shoulder to give Jensen a stern look and say, “You need to pack. We want you out of this house now.”

Then his parents walked away, leaving Jensen feeling like the floor under him was crumbling, like everything was just falling apart around him.

Despite the sharp heaviness that had burrowed its way into his chest and nestled painfully around his heart, Jensen walked up to his room and packed as much of his things into as many bags as he could carry.

Jensen wondered how his parents would explain his sudden disappearance to everyone in the family. Would they tell his aunts, his uncles, his cousins, even his grandparents the truth? That he was going to be a father in about eight months? That they’d kicked him out of the house because he planned to raise the child? Or would they come up with some elaborate lie to explain why he wasn’t living in the house anymore?

As much as the notion stung, Jensen found that, no matter what, he couldn’t trust his own family now.

But that in itself posed a huge problem for Jensen, because if he couldn’t trust his own family, then where the hell was he supposed to go now that he didn't have a home anymore?

It took Jensen’s mind a good while before a possible idea popped into his head, and when it did, he called up a cab to come pick him up. He then gathered up all his packed bags and left without saying goodbye to his parents.

 

• • •

 

A little over half an hour later, Jensen found himself standing nervously at the door of his Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald Padalecki’s home.

Aunt Sharon was his mother’s younger sister, an omega just like his mom, and it seemed like they’d had a falling out several years ago. Of course, Jensen was never informed exactly why, or what exactly had happened, but his family had suddenly stopped inviting them to family events and had seemingly ceased all contact with them.

Now, given his parents’ earlier response to his own situation, and their traditionalist views, Jensen speculated if it might’ve been related to Aunt Sharon’s marriage to Uncle Gerald, a beta. Perhaps his grandparents had reacted similarly to his own parents when Aunt Sharon informed them that she was going to marry Uncle Gerald. Perhaps that had caused a rift between them, one that eventually grew and drove both Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald away, one that appeared to have everyone else in his family shun them for their choice.

Jensen was afraid, but he knew he couldn’t go to any of his other aunts or uncles, because they were all still in contact with his parents, and they all seemed to hold the same traditionalist beliefs about alphas, betas, omegas, and how mating should be like—that alphas should only mate with omegas, that betas were meant to marry other betas, and that any other pairing was completely _wrong_ and _sinful_.

Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald were his only hope. Jensen only prayed they wouldn’t turn him away seeing as he hadn’t spoken to them for years now. Jensen guessed that the last time he’d actually been in their house had been when he’d been around nine years old and they’d thrown him a small birthday party in their backyard.

Hesitantly, Jensen rested the bag he’d been carrying in his right hand on the floor so that he could knock on the front door, and when his Aunt Sharon opened the door, her eyes wide in surprise, he gave her a nervous smile.

“Uh— Hi Aunt Sharon,” Jensen fidgeted slightly, “it’s me, uh— Jen—”

She’d cut him off before he could even finish saying his name, “Jensen? What in the world are you doing here?”

“Uh...well,” Jensen had sheepishly looked down at his shoes to take a small inhale before he looked back up and replied, “my parents kind of kicked me out of the house and I didn’t really know where else I could go.” He mentally prayed that his aunt wouldn’t ask him to leave or call his parents to tell them about his visit.

The look of fury that spread across Aunt Sharon’s face as he looked back up at her surprised him, “They did _what_? Why in the world they kick you out? They’re your parents!”

“Uh,” Jensen felt his heart pounding inside his chest, “I— Aunt Sharon, I’ll explain, but…uh, can I please come inside? It’s— The things I’m carrying are kind of really heavy.”

All the anger he’d seen on her face vanished instantly and was immediately replaced by embarrassment as she quickly moved back to allow Jensen to walk inside, “Oh! Of course, sweetie! I’m so sorry about that, please do come in!”

Once Jensen was inside, Sharon closed the door behind her and led him towards the living-room, and it was there than Jensen finally saw his Uncle Gerald, who from the looks of it had been watching something on the TV, but was now looking at him with raised brows.

“Jensen?” Uncle Gerald asked. “What’re you doin’ here, son?”

“Hi, Uncle Gerald,” Jensen greeted, his voice wavering slightly as he spoke on, “I’m really sorry about just coming to y’all’s house on such short notice, unannounced. I just— Like I mentioned to Aunt Sharon a while ago, I— I sort of got kicked out my house by my parents and I didn’t really know where else to go.”

Gerald had turned to look at Sharon, who moved closer towards Jensen and made to help him place all his luggage on the floor.

“Jensen, sweetie,” Aunt Sharon said gently, “please take a seat.” And as Jensen moved to take a seat on a small sofa opposite his Uncle Gerald, Sharon sat next to her husband and began again, her voice still soft, “Jensen, could you please tell us what happened? Why did your parents kick you out?”

Jensen took a deep breath and then proceeded to explain everything, and when his aunt suddenly got up and rushed over to him to wrap her arms around him and embrace him near the end, Jensen had realized she was crying. He felt his chest tighten and his eyes began to burn.

“Oh, Jensen, I am so sorry about what happened with your parents. They shouldn’t’ve kicked you out,” she started after she’d pulled away, her face pink, “but I am so glad that you trusted your uncle and I enough that you thought you could come here. You can stay with us, Jensen, we’ll help you out, right, Gerald?”

With that, Sharon had turned to look at her husband, as had Jensen, who wore a determined expression on his face as he nodded, “You’re safe here, son. Whatever you need, we’ll help you.”

Hearing such words of support from these two people he hadn’t seen in years overwhelmed Jensen, and he rubbed his eyes in en effort to fight back the near tears that threatened to fall down his eyes, and when he spoke, the words tumbled off his lips in a raspy breath, “I— Thank you. You two— Just— Thank you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I’m so very sorry I took forever (okay, exactly two years and fourteen days) to update this fic!! ;__; I was working on two other fics that were for a giveaway I held, and that took up most my time, but now that I've finished them both, I'll be back to working on my WIP fics (including this one). 
> 
> This is honestly more of a transition chapter (filled with some angst), but after this, we’ll finally get to when things are really gonna start changing between Jensen and Jared. Again, I'm sorry I took so long to update this fic; I'll try my best to not take as long to update this fic again. ;; 
> 
> Anyways, if you liked this chapter, please leave me comment down below!

Nearly two months later, Jensen constantly found himself feeling completely overwhelmed by the immense kindness and generosity Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald showed him. Because during that time, not only had he been given a safe place to stay, he’d also been given his very first _car_ —something his own parents hadn’t even wanted to do for him after he’d managed to obtain his driving license.

The small, used black car was a few years old, but to Jensen, that hadn’t mattered at all. Because being given a car and told by his Aunt and Uncle that it was a _gift_? Jensen hadn’t even attempted to stop himself from crying before them before he gave them both hugs and thanked them over and over until his voice became hoarse. 

Jensen had later found out that it’d mainly been Uncle Gerald’s doing, as he was close friends with a mechanic that knew the car’s previous owner. Seeing as Jensen hadn’t wanted to go through the trouble of transferring over to a new high school in Dallas, especially since he was a senior and just months from graduating, he’d been depending on Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald to drive him to and from school every weekday. Knowing this, Uncle Gerald eventually disclosed that he’d purchased the car for Jensen so he could drive himself to school, but also so Jensen could also have the freedom of going wherever whenever he pleased. 

Yet the unbelievable kindness from them didn’t end there. 

Knowing his situation, that Jensen was going to be a father in but a handful of months, Aunt Sharon had begun to purchase supplies—diapers, blankets, an actual crib, and an unbelievable amount of baby clothes in neutral colors. Jensen had told her it wasn’t necessary, that he didn’t want her spending her money on things _he_ should be buying for his future child. But when Aunt Sharon mentioned, with such a forlorn look on her face that made Jensen’s heart ache, that she was never able to have her own child, that she wanted to do this not just for him, but also for _her_ own sake, Jensen couldn’t say no. 

And when Jensen began to look for a part-time job, to start saving up money he knew he was going to need in order to raise a child, Aunt Sharon yet again came to his aid. She was good friends with the head librarian in their city’s library, and it was thanks to that she was able to help Jensen obtain his first part-time job. 

So each time Jensen went to bed at night, he found himself grateful for having such a kind, understanding Uncle and Aunt, who not only took him when he was kicked out of his home and offered him a room in their home, but who constantly gifted him with so much when they most definitely didn’t have to. 

Jensen felt undeserving of their immense kindness, but he could see the joy in their eyes when they did all that they did for him. The thought that they were treating—rather, almost _spoiling_ —him like he was their own child made Jensen’s heart ache, and despite the lingering worries in the back of his mind, Jensen gratefully accepted all that they did for him, and made sure to always let them know just how much he appreciated them and everything they were doing for him.

 

It was also during this time, a few weeks after he moved in with Uncle Gerald and Aunt Sharon, that Jensen finally got to see his child for the first time. They’d only looked like a tiny dark-grey dot in the ultrasound scan, but even so, that first glance had been momentous. Because now, thanks to that dark, grainy image he’d seen, there was actual, tangible evidence that in a handful of months, Jensen was going to be a father. Once Jensen had been given the small printed picture of the ultrasound he’d requested, he’d gently placed it in his wallet and proudly carried it everywhere with him. 

And, weeks later, when Jensen was told he was going to have a _son_ , he was ecstatic. 

Immediately after finding out, Jensen spent the next few days leafing through several books filled with hundreds upon hundreds of baby names until he finally decided on a first and middle name. Though he wouldn’t admit it, when Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald had voiced their approval on the name he’d chosen for his son, Jensen had been exceedingly pleased. 

As the remaining weeks slowly began to trickle by from there, Jensen found that while he was still completely terrified of what the future would bring once his child was born, he was also excited to see and hold his son after he were born. 

So when he got an unexpected call in the evening on July 19 from April’s mother, informing him that April was in labor and that they were heading over to Richardson, Jensen thanked her for the call, hung up, and rushed to tell his Aunt and Uncle. Moments later, they were already on their way to the hospital as well. 

Since April and her family had previously informed Jensen that he would not be allowed in the room while April gave birth, Jensen and his Uncle and Aunt were left in the waiting room, waiting anxiously for a doctor to come along and inform them when Jensen’s son was born. The hours were long and nerve-wracking, but around eleven thirty, Jensen was finally informed that he could now go see his son in the hospital’s nursery.

As Jensen had followed the nurse that was leading him to the nursery, his heart had been racing painfully in his chest, the rushing of blood roaring in his ears, and the moment he stepped into the quiet nursery, he began to feel almost faint. But when the nurse picked up a tiny baby swaddled in a pastel green blanket and walked up to him, Jensen held his breath. 

She handed the baby to Jensen with a smile on her face, “This is your son, Mr. Ackles.” 

Jensen’s hands trembled slightly as they gently picked up his son, and after he cradled him in his arms, a wave of insecurity washed over Jensen. 

“Am I…” He looked up at the nurse, his eyes wide in worry. “Am I holding him right? I… I’ve never done this before, and I tried to look up how to do this several times before, but I, uh…” 

The nurse only gave him an understanding look and a small smile, “You’re holding him perfectly fine, Mr. Ackles. Always make sure to support his head as you are, and you should be fine.” 

A ‘thank you’ had been on the tip of Jensen’s tongue, but it’d been lost the second he’d felt movement in his arms. When Jensen averted his gaze to look down at his son, he’d been greeted by the sight of his son wiggling in his blanket before he gave a tiny yawn and seemed to go back to sleep. 

“Oh…” the word tumbled off Jensen’s lips in a breathless exhale. He felt his eyes begin to burn and blinked several times to stave off the tears he could feel welling up at the corner of his eyes.

“If I may ask, Mr. Ackles, have you decided what to name your son?” Jensen looked up at her. “There is no set timeframe for naming your child, but the sooner you give your child a name, the better, so you can start filling out all the forms so that your child can get a social security number, health insurance, and all the other works.” 

“Oh.” Jensen’s brow furrowed in thought. “I already have a name picked out for him, but I completely almost forgot about all the paperwork I’m probably gonna have to fill out.” 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Ackles, if you have any questions about the paperwork, there’ll be someone there to help you out,” the nurse replied with a reassuring smile. 

“Thank you.” Jensen paused. “Oh, and, uh, this…” he took a deep breath, “this is Jared Tristan Ackles.” 

“Jared?” The nursed gave a thoughtful smile. “What a lovely name.” 

Jensen looked down at Jared, unable to stop himself, he let his tears fall from his eyes, but he smiled fondly as he said quietly, “Yeah, he is.”

 

• • •

 

Raising a child, Jensen quickly learned, even with the help of both Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerard, was a very, very difficult and tiring task. As Jensen continued going to school, during the hours that he was away, Jared was left with Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerard. Once Jensen arrived home, he’d spend as much time with Jared as he possibly could before he’d then go to work at his part-time job. It was only during the weekends that Jensen stayed home the entire day, both to relax and to spend his time with Jared.

To everyone’s surprise, Jared wasn’t a fussy baby. Truthfully, Jared was actually very quiet, and so, for the most part, he would merely sit somewhere, his curious hazel eyes always looking around, observing the world around him. 

The only time Jared wasn’t so quiet was when he was with Jensen. Because when Jared was with his father, even the smallest of things would make Jared break out into a smile. It didn’t take much from Jensen to make Jared burst out laughing or to send him into a fit of giggles. 

It was clear to everyone, especially Jensen himself, that Jared was clearly attached to his father. The small boy would always reach for his father as soon as his eyes would spot Jensen. And when Jensen’s attention was elsewhere, Jared would babble loudly, as if trying to call out to his father, and he wouldn’t stop until Jensen’s attention eventually come back to him, and him alone. Much to Aunt Sharon’s amusement. 

To everyone that saw their interactions, there could be no mistaking the evident, immense affection and adoration both Jensen and Jared had for the other.

And as the years quickly flew by, despite everyone’s worries, Jensen came to realize that Jared was very much just a quiet child by nature. For even as he grew older, Jared remained soft spoken, shy, and reluctant to meet new people, but when he finally warmed up to someone, Jared was more talkative, more open and willing to speak up. So everyone grew to understand and accept this about Jared, it was just who he was. 

But once Jared began to attend pre-K, his shyness began to bring out concerns from teachers, even from other parents. Often times they’d ask Jensen if Jared was okay, if there might be something wrong with his son, seeing as Jared hardly spoke and spent most of his time playing alone. Thankfully, over time, Jensen learned to mask his anger at being asked such questions about his son. He would assure everyone that— _yes, Jared is perfectly fine, he’s just really shy, and there’s nothing wrong with that, alright?_

It wasn’t until after Jared reached the age of eight that Jensen finally graduated from a nearby university that with his Doctorate in Physical Therapy and managed to get a job at a nearby center in Dallas as a certified Physical Therapist. But it wasn’t until four years later, when Jared was twelve years old, that Jensen found he’d saved up enough, and actually felt _ready_ to buy his own house. One that was just a handful of minutes away from Uncle Gerald and Aunt Sharon’s place, but that would be wholly his and Jared’s. 

Jensen had been worried about how Jared would handle the move, but to his surprise, Jared didn’t seem to mind all that much. But two years later, once Jared started high school, things began to change—and, unfortunately, not for the better. 

Jensen understood very well that his son was quiet and shy by nature, but that was mainly when surrounded by people Jared didn’t know—strangers. So when, just months into his freshman year, Jared started to act odd and even more quiet _at home_ , Jensen grew immensely concerned. 

Because, almost of the blue, Jared began to avoid Jensen’s gaze when they spoke. Began to lock himself away in his room more and more. Would stiffen when Jensen tried to hug him, even when Jensen merely patted him gently on the back or shoulder. Would duck away when Jensen moved his hand to ruffle his hair. 

Jensen wasn’t blind or stupid, he could see how Jared would _panic_ and rush to put as much distance between them any time Jensen moved too close to him, much less when Jensen attempted to touch him in any manner. And Jensen wouldn’t lie—it _hurt_. But the alpha acted as if it was nothing and gave Jared the space his son seemed to desire, no matter how much the sudden growing distance between them made his chest ache. 

It seemed to go on for months, until Jensen eventually confronted Jared and asked him if something was wrong. If _he_ had done something—anything—to upset Jared. And to his utter horror, the question made Jared break down into tears. Leaving Jensen shocked and filled with guilt and wishing he could take his words back, because no matter how much Jensen wanted to know the truth, no matter how much the distance between them hurt, it pained Jensen’s heart even more to know he’d done something, even if accidentally, to make Jared cry. 

Jensen had hesitantly walked up to Jared and wrapped his arms around him and apologized, unsure of what else to do, but Jared had merely apologized between sobs, eventually telling Jensen that he’d just been struggling with something, but that it was something small and he was doing his best to overcome it. 

After that, within a week, things returned to the way they were before, and though Jensen was still worried, having no idea what could’ve happened in the first place to bring about the change in Jared, he told himself to relax. If Jared wanted to talk about it, Jensen would be there for him. He wouldn’t force his son and demand him to tell him. Not when Jensen was still reeling from Jared’s reaction to his question. 

But as the months flew by, Jared _never_ brought up the matter. It made Jensen’s heart sink in sorrow and disappointment that, perhaps, Jared didn’t trust Jensen enough to confide in him. Though Jensen wouldn’t forget about the matter, as it lingered constantly in the back of his thoughts, he forced himself to let it slide, to put it out of his mind for the time being. Because things between them were fine again, and Jensen didn’t want to—he wouldn’t dare—risk upsetting the balance. Jensen didn’t want to admit it, but he couldn’t deny it—he was absolutely terrified of pushing Jared away, of bringing back the distance between them that Jared had created before. So Jensen did his best to put his thoughts and worries away until they were all but forgotten. 

As the months turned into years and Jared neared the end of his junior year, Jensen was surprised when he realized that Jared had yet to start dating anyone. Even though Jared was a beta, and didn’t have to worry about going into heat or rut, there’d still been that awkward, but necessary talk years ago about ‘the birds and the bees’. Yet, despite all this, Jared never told Jensen about any of his crushes. Jared was nearing seventeen and from what Jensen knew, his son had yet to have his first romantic relationship. The idea of Jared ever dating anyone never failed to send Jensen’s own heart into an aching frenzy, but it also concerned him. 

Was there a reason Jared had yet to date anyone?

The possibilities seemed endless, and made Jensen’s mind spin in worry. 

So when Jensen hesitantly asked Jared one day about it, to his surprise, Jared blushed, as if embarrassed, and shrugged his shoulders before merely saying, “No, I, uh— Well, I had this crush one time, but that was years ago, and, uh— It was very much unrequited. From then, I just…I guess I haven’t really felt like that about anyone.” 

The relief Jensen felt after hearing those words had been surprisingly staggering. But a worried thought did remain—just _who_ exactly had been the first, and thus far only, person to ever capture Jared’s attention? Who had been Jared’s first crush? 

Jensen desperately wanted to know, and he often assured himself that it was okay for him to want to know so badly, that he was Jared’s father, he had every right to know. But by the time Jared started his last year of high school, all thoughts and worries about Jared and who this crush could’ve possibly been had been pushed to the back of his mind because Jared was a _senior_. Once the school year ended, Jared would be graduating and going to _college_. 

Now, all Jensen could focus on was the very real and painful possibility of Jared going to a college miles and miles away and moving away. 

So when Jared eventually told Jensen that he wanted to go to The University of Texas at Austin to study engineering, Jensen had smiled and told Jared that it was great, that he was happy Jared knew where he wanted to go and what he wanted to study. Jensen did his best to hide the distress and melancholy that seemed to well up inside of his chest. No matter what, Jensen wouldn’t dare let himself ruin Jared’s joy. 

And months later, when Jared finally got his letter in the mail from UT, only to open it and discover that he’d been accepted and had managed to score a full-ride scholarship, Jensen had been ecstatic and immensely proud of Jared. 

But that night, when Jensen went to bed alone in his room, the realization that Jared would be leaving him in only a few more months suddenly struck him like a hit straight to the chest and left him breathless and very much feeling like his world was slowly falling to pieces before his eyes. 

But Jensen did his best to help Jared. To be there for his son through all the panic and hectic events as Jared finished up his last year and then graduated. 

And Jensen was proud, so very proud of Jared. His son had graduated in the top twenty of his class and was going to attend UT on a full ride come August. So, of course, during the graduation ceremony, unable to hold himself back, Jensen had started crying the moment Jared walked up the stage to receive his diploma with a blinding smile on his face as he held his diploma. Jensen had been unable to stop crying until they were finally back home and celebrating the joyous event with Aunt Sharon and Uncle Gerald with a grand dinner. 

From there, Jensen did the best to spend even more time with Jared. His son would be leaving in early August, and Jensen knew he had no time to waste. He went out shopping with Jared several times to help buy him everything he might need for his place ahead of time, they went out to the movies, went out to eat, went to the park to take walks, they even went to the beach a few times. 

Jensen often wondered if Jared knew what he was doing. But even so, Jensen felt grateful, because no matter what Jensen asked, Jared always said ‘yes’ with a kind smile on his face, always appeared willing to go out with Jensen, even if it was just to go on a simple run to the store to pick up some groceries.

Jensen treasured these moments, all these things he did with Jared during the summer. So despite the constant despair that thrummed in the back of his mind, Jensen was, for the most part, utterly happy—blissful, really. He enjoyed being able to do go out and do so many things with his son. It made his heart swell in delight and made him feel like all was right in the world. 

But, of course, all good things soon came to an end. 

Because once August arrived, in was with a heavy heart that Jensen finally began to help Jared packed up his things, and not two weeks later, he stood hopelessly outside their house as a tearful Jared gave him a tight hug before he walked away with a sad smile and a weak wake of his hand. 

The last words Jensen heard before Jared got into the car with his friends were, “I love you, Dad!” 

That night, Jensen went to bed feeling bereft, like a vital part of his life was missing—and truly, it was. 

The house he’d shared with Jared for over six years now felt depressingly empty. 

Jared was gone.

Jensen was alone now. 

So when Jensen felt his eyes begin to burn, he didn’t even try to stop the tears, he let them fall freely down his face as his sobs wracked his body and his cries pierced the heavy silence that engulfed the house.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos would be greatly appreciated! You can also find me on Tumblr as [rhyaenv](https://rhyaenv.tumblr.com/). ♥


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